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IaLR: Coffee Break/Greek Mythology
Welcome to IaLR: Coffee Break! Sit back as members from the Locked Room Gang and beyond chat, hang out, debate, and have fun in this biweekly talk show story series! You'll get to see topics like cooking, languages, who is better and much more. Stay tuned for more surprises that await the crew! Cast * Vortigon * Dynasty * The Sheriff * Mr. Red * AU Jelo * Jelo Edmarkson * Jaiden * Pearl (Steven Universe) Plot Coffee Break S1E2: Greek Mythology • episode idea by CaptainRustbolt21 The cast talks about ancient Greek Mythology and about their favorite Greek gods. Harlity and chaos ensue when one talks about their positive opinion about Zeus in front of Vortigon, the guy who holds a violent grudge against him. Story Live from Echo Creek, Los Angeles....it's IaLR: Coffee Break! * Vortigon: (takes a sip of his latte) ... (Looks at the camera) Jelo ain’t here yet. Give him time. * AU Jelo: But, I’m here. * Vortigon: I’m referring to IaLRverse Jelo, not the likes of you. * AU Jelo: (scoffs) No wonder you’re still single. * Vortigon: And no wonder you left the good side. * AU Jelo: (slams his fist on the concession stand table) Suddenly, Jelo and Jaiden bust in, fighting Dark Jaiden. * Jelo: Sorry Dark Jaiden, but I can't let you destroy my friends. * Dark Jaiden: I'm doing this so us Fire Ninjas can rule the world!'' *shoots fireballs at Jelo*'' * Jaiden: Ice Shield! *makes an ice shield, which melts from Dark Jaiden's fireballs* ''Well, at least it held on long enough. * Jelo: Eat this! ''*attempts to slash at Dark Jaiden, only to have his sword melted in half* ''Darn, I forgot I can't use a sword against Fire Ninjas! * Dark Jaiden: Time to end this fight! * Jaiden: Oh please. ''Dark Jaiden charges up and makes a fire blast. Jaiden does the same with an ice blast. Jaiden's ice blast proves too strong, defeating Dark Jaiden. * Dark Jaiden: *defeated* ''You might have defeated me, but rest assured, Galaximus will soon end you! * Jelo: Well, looks like another fight has been finished. Sorry to keep you waiting, and sorry I knocked out one of your teammates. She was gonna burn the studio anyway. * Vortigon: A-hem. I am a walking fire hazard here. * Jelo: And that's why I coated the whole set in flame retardant! * Vortigon: So why worry about the studio being burned down? * Sheriff: (busts in, shooting his guns in the air) YEE-HAW! Howdy, partners! The Sheriff of Echo Creek is here fer a coffee break! * Vortigon: (leans to Jelo) Better make sure it’s bulletproof while you’re at it. * Jaiden: Ice shield! ''*creates an ice shield atop the audience* * Sheriff: Jelo, my man! My deputy! My superior! (slaps Jelo on the back) How are things goin' in 'ere? * Jelo: Doin' great! * Vortigon: There's a coffee bar right there. Being run by Pearl. You can't miss it. * Sheriff: Sure thing! (walks to the coffee bar and knocks on the table to get her attention) * Pearl (SU): Oh hello, Sheriff! * Sheriff: Howdy, partner! I would like a cup of them Arbuckle’s! Pearl gave the sheriff a confused look. * Sheriff: ... COFFEE, madam. * Pearl (SU): Oh, so that's what you meant. *pours some coffee into a cup and gives it to the Sheriff* ''Here you go, have a nice day! * Sheriff: Thanks, partner! (takes a sip of his coffee) WOAH! Wonder when the others get here? * Vortigon: Well, in the meantime, let us talk about Greek Mythology! * Star: What's mythology? * Mr. Red: (comes in) A collection of myths, especially one belonging to a particular religious or cultural tradition. * Vortigon: Except Greek Mythology ain’t myths. I was there myself! * Jaiden: Huh. Tell us some stories. * Vortigon: Certainly! Ever heard about the Greek god Ares? * Jaiden: Uh, no? * Vortigon: Well, every Greek god has their position in their respective area. One controls the power of love. One controls nature. And one controls the dead. My foster father, Ares, was the Greek god of war! * Jelo: I'm not really a fan of Greek mythology. Tons of centuries ago, everyone proved that the sun wasn't just someone riding a chariot. No, it was a giant ball of gas! * Vortigon: Yeah, yeah- Science overpowers Mythology- no, its my own belief! I was there! * Jaiden: Nah, I think mythology is just that; a myth. (to herself: Although I do think it's interesting.) * Sheriff: Hey, let the woman keep her beliefs, partner! I may be an atheist, but I do find Greek Mythology a interesting subject! * Star: This is boring! Do we have anything else to talk about? * Vortigon: I dunno- Do you? * Star: ああ...私は知らない。私はトピックとして日本語を選ぶことを意図しましたが、すでに言語についてのエピソードを行いました。(Ā... Watashi wa shiranai. Watashi wa topikku to shite nihongo o erabu koto o ito shimashitaga, sudeni gengo ni tsuite no episōdo o okonaimashita.) * Marco: What about Athena? * Star: アテナは誰ですか？(Atena wa daredesu ka?) * Vortigon: I speak Greek, not Japanese. And what are you talking about Athena, the goddess of Wisdom? * Marco: Yep. * Jelo: Hey, speaking of Athena, did you know she's also in the Great Seal of California? * Vortigon: And you say that you dislike Greek Mythology. * Jelo: But I am interested in the characters. * Vortigon: Do tell. * AU Jelo: Like who? * Jelo: For example, Zeus, the god of thunder! Y'know, Zeus reminds me of CypherDen, what with the lightning powers and stuff. * Vortigon: (breaks his cup of joe in surprise) I'm sorry, what did you say about Zeus? * Jelo: Uhh...that he's the god of thunder? * Vortigon: (raspberries) Of COURSE he's the d*mn God of Thunder! Not to mention the King of Olympus! * Sheriff: Uhhh, you okay, partner? * CypherDen: *arrives* Hello! * Vortigon: (To Jelo) And furthermore, Zeus is the one who tried to stop my plans of bringing Greece's civilization into the Underworld! He probably never would've succeeded if the words "Teamwork" hasn't come to his thick skull! * Jelo: I'm a fighter, not a theorist. * Vortigon: And I'm a God, not a mortal! * Sheriff: Woah, partner, calm down! * Vortigon: NO! I will NOT calm down, thank you for asking! * Jelo: Ho boy. * Vortigon: WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT, PUNY MORTAL!? WHY, I BET YOU '''WORSHIPPED '''ZEUS, DON'T YOU!? * Jelo: Dude. I'm a Catholic, so you're technically wrong. Besides, nobody worships Greek myths anymore! Am I right or am I right? * Vortigon: More like- YOU ARE DEAD! ''Vortigon then proceeds to make a ball of Dark Energy and throws it to Jelo, which he promptly jumps out of the way and hit the Camera. [https://youtu.be/l0EjpOS2Mjo We will return to our regularly scheduled program momentarily. Please stay tuned.] * Jelo: Whoa, that was close! * Jaiden: Yep! I froze Vortigon. No need to worry about him killing you. * Jelo: Why'd he think I would worship an archaic god? I told him I don't! * Sheriff: He must be some sorta Greek Nationalist or somethin'! Or was it Imperialist? * Jelo: I guess. * SMG4 Mario: (suddenly poured out of Pearl's coffee machine, much to her horror) O-Oh! Hello! * Pearl (SU): AH! What are you doing here? * SMG4 Mario: I want to tell you all MY Greek-a God! * Jaiden: Huh. Wonder what it is. * SMG4 Mario: BEHOLD! (pulls out a painting of... A spaghetti monster) Spagettio, the goddess of the Spaghettis~ * Marco: That's not a Greek god. * SMG4 Mario: TASTE TEH POWAH! (before he can shove the painting to Marco's face, he was frozen by Jaiden) * Jaiden: Hey, he was annoying.Category:Stories Then, Jelo heard someone knocking at the coffee store door. When he checked, he saw... A Minigon wearing a poor mailman disguise with a French moustache, carrying a package * Minigon: (ahem) Bonjouuuurrrrrr! It'z ze Mailman here and I wood lik to give you thiz pack-age! * Jelo: Uh, thanks? *realizes something* ''Hey, wait a minute! You're not the mailman! Only Jamie brings our mail here. * Minigon: Uhhhh... (proceeds to, without thinking, kick Jelo in the crotch, causing him to fall to the ground) ''The Minigon then opens the package and reveals a giant flamethrower. He then uses it to release Vortigon from his icy prison * Vortigon: (freed) AH! About the time that d*mned Minigon came to rescue me! * Jelo: ...ouch... * Jaiden: Darn it! I'm gonna need backup. * CypherDen: I'm here! * Jaiden: We need Rebecca. * Minigon: (in a terrible Rebecca disguise, using a failing feminine voice) Oh, ho ho ho! Hello, my oddle-laddies!~ * CypherDen: Seriously? * ???: Splashdown! The Minigon gets hit by a hydrobeam. Rebecca's finally here, for real! * Jaiden: Rebecca Parham! * Rebecca: The one and only. * Vortigon: So there's a gang of Youtubers!? SO WHAT!? You all do not have the true capability of killing a god like me! * Jelo: Oh yeah? Well, I still kept this sword from our previous fight! Jelo pulls out his evil-destroying artifact, a Katana, from his scabbard. Vortigon recoils and hisses * Vortigon: KEEP THAT THING AWAY FROM ME! * Jelo: I'm sorry, but it's about time we changed the topic. Jelo attacks Vortigon with the katana by stabbing him in the stomach. Vortigon pushes Jelo out of his way, but already sees his insides slowly burning away from the blue fire. * Vortigon: I gotta get outta here before it kills me! (attempts to make a run for it) Jelo chases Vortigon with his katana. Eventually, Vortigon jumps through the window of the coffee store (despite the fact that the door is unblocked and unlocked) * Vortigon: YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE! (continues running) * Jelo: Get back here! (runs after him) * Sheriff: There goes Gerald. Right out in the wild... Anyhow, I was always fond of the Greek god Hades. Believe it or don't, he's really a nice guy. He's just someone doing a nasssty job. * Jaiden: Hades....huh. Believe it or not, I met one of Dark Jaiden's ancestors, and her name was actually Jaides! * Sheriff: Huh... The more you know... What about your Greek gods, partner? * Jaiden: What? * Sheriff: What Greek gods do you like, Jaiden? * Jaiden lines...? Category:Stories by CaptainRustbolt21 Category:Coffee Break